Unfortunately, we do the same thing in our romantic relationships. We all have a negativity bias, or tendency to focus on the bad aspects of experiences. This makes us more critical of our relationship than we should be. Along the way, we take the good times for granted and they become an under-appreciated part of our partnership. Our partner’s insensitive comments, moods, and messiness regularly capture our full attention.
We also include other expert opinions here that will help you understand how to make a relationship last forever. But there are some things that set those long-lasting relationships apart from the rest. Think mutual respect, honest communication, and facing life’s ups and downs together.
That’s good news because research suggests that romantic partners who emphasize friendship tend to be more committed and experience more sexual gratification. Romantic relationships that value friendship emphasize emotional support, intimacy, affection, and maintaining a strong bond. They also focus on meeting needs related to caregiving, security, and companionship. By practicing effective communication, mutual respect, and prioritizing each other’s needs, couples can create a strong foundation for lasting love. It is through authenticity, trust, and a willingness to adapt and grow together that couples can navigate the challenges and inevitable ups and downs of life. One of the key things in how to make a relationship last is also realizing you sometimes need time apart to pursue your own interests and relationships with friends and family.
Relationships are not a game; therefore, keeping a score isn’t necessary. This implies you don’t have to tell your spouse if you do anything kind for them or if you assist them out only to collect brownie points. This is one of the most important things in a relationship.
For example, your partner may enjoy superhero movies while you enjoy rom-coms. Ultimately, you have a lot more in common than you have differences. In fact, we have such a strong tendency to pick up on the bad stuff that we may even manufacture problems that don’t exist. Start with open communication, understand the root cause, and take responsibility for mistakes.
If you want to know how to make a relationship work, then start by giving respect to your partner’s friends. If you aren’t a huge admirer of her buddies, it’s best to keep that to yourself. You don’t have to like them, but you should at the very least respect them for the sake of your relationship. If you need to talk to your spouse about something, don’t be afraid to express what you need to say. If you tend to beat about the bush, hoping that people will understand what you’re trying to say, you risk being lost in translation, which almost always works against you.
Key Pointers
This does not lead to a relationship that lasts forever. You need to make healing the rift more important than being right or winning. The sooner you make the repair, the more trust you’ll build in the strength of your relationship. Compassion helps your partner to feel seen and understood. It’s a demonstration of your care and concern and will help you to feel closer to each other. Judgment and trying to fix someone are not part of compassion.
- Think of saying “we” before giving in to the temptation of casting blame on the other person.
- Communicating difficult truths should be done calmly and respectfully, never with humiliation.
- Yet, a surprise breakfast, a handwritten note, or even a tight hug after a long day can leave lasting impressions.
- Support can come in many forms and is too comprehensive to get into a complete discussion here, but there is emotional, physical, mental, spiritual, financial, etc.
It’s easy to fall in love, enjoy those early days, and get all gushy, but it’s a whole different ballgame to stay in love when things get real. And let’s be real, there are way too many couples out there breaking up left and right. It’s enough to make you want to throw in the towel before even trying to figure out how to make a relationship last.
As the years go by, you’ll keep revisiting and realigning and reimagining the passion you have for each other. And if you keep at it, you’ll have a sex life that transcends your marriage’s lack of newness, the stresses of family and work, the physical changes that come with aging. Marriage is a home, a refuge against the outside storms. And like any house, it requires a strong, lasting foundation. To build one, every couple needs to take certain steps — seven, to be precise — that turn the two of you into not just you and me but we.
How Love Grows In Your Body
” If someone asks, “What’s your favorite show to binge-watch? That use of “we” shows a strong sense of cognitive closeness, or shared identity, in your relationship. Research suggests that couples who are interconnected like this tend to be more satisfied and committed. When we spend our time worrying about the wrong things, we don’t have time to appreciate what’s going right. Not only does this mean our view of the relationship is skewed, but it also means we’re missing out on a meaningful opportunity. While working on problems is one way to improve a long-term relationship, it’s just as important to reflect on your partner’s good qualities and the positive aspects of your connection.
But regardless of whether it is of top priority to you or one of your most important personal needs, every relationship should have physical intimacy as a strong part of their foundation. Through the many seasons of life, it can be one of the areas that suffers most. Whether you’re dealing with significant stress, significant life events, navigating parenthood or any other distraction, physical intimacy and connection can be put on the “back burner”. This can mean sexual intimacy, or it can also mean hand-holding, back massages or even just loving embraces. Physical connection and intimacy doesn’t always have to be big gestures and sometimes, less means more. Being in a relationship can be one of the most incredible, beautiful and fulfilling parts of life.
Love is the main ingredient of the relationship recipe, and you should express it daily. Holding hands, a hug, and a squeeze on the arm create connection and trust. Let it be known if you’re not getting as much attention as you want.
— you have to outline together the boundaries between you and all of the families connected to you. Not only will you feel stronger as a united front but when you stick to your shared rules, all that family baggage will weigh on you a lot less. Gratitude helps people refocus on what they have instead of what they lack. And, although it may feel contrived at first, this mental state grows stronger with use and practice. Managers who remember to say “thank you” to people who work for them may find that those employees feel motivated to work harder.
Long-term relationships often face the challenge of maintaining the same excitement and closeness that was present in the initial stages. Intimacy, both emotional and physical, plays a pivotal role in keeping that spark alive. Here are some tips to ensure the flame keeps burning brightly.
Emotional intelligence means being aware of your thoughts, feelings, and needs in any given situation. The key to having a great marriage is to be able to ignore the “anger invitations” that your partner throws out. These are such things as bringing up things from the past, swearing, rolling their eyes, or interrupting your partner when they are talking. This allows the couple to stay on the topic of the discussion. Dr. Dean Dorman is a licensed psychologist who holds a doctorate from Western LoverWhirl Michigan University. With over thirty years of experience, he currently works as a therapist in private practice, where he specializes in couples counseling.
Many of these are likely present in your own relationship; you just need to pause and take notice. In the whirlwind of daily life, work commitments, and family responsibilities, couples can inadvertently drift apart. By actively prioritizing and setting aside quality time for each other, couples can reconnect. Sometimes, external perspectives, like counseling or therapy, can provide tools and insights for navigating relationship challenges. Being open to seeking help indicates a strong commitment to making love last. Being each other’s cheerleader can greatly enhance relationship satisfaction.
From the stresses of work to the temptation of social media, it’s easy to lose sight of what’s important. But the good news is, building a lasting relationship with the person you love doesn’t have to be a daunting task. By following some key tips and being committed to working through any obstacles that come your way, you can create a strong, healthy, and fulfilling relationship that stands the test of time.
The responses provided here are for informational and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute professional advice. Any advice shared is not a substitute for mental health services or counseling. We encourage you to contact a licensed therapist or support service for any urgent or sensitive issues you are experiencing. We do not provide real-time or personalized support, and we will only provide responses to submissions if we can offer valuable, helpful, and topical answers. In this guide, you’ll learn four key elements of emotional intelligence and uncover some negative and positive real-life examples of each.